Entertainer: Jon York
Band Function: Guy who stands on the left side of the stage.
Influences: Gravity, Spinal Tap, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Spinal Tap
Keys to "success": Being too stupid to know when to quit.
Alter-ego: Financial consultant

Born in Squatney, England sometime between the dark ages and the turn of the new millenium.

At an early age, crossed the English Channel into Europe on a cheap old guitar case held together with duct tape and bar gunk (he still stubbornly uses the case to this day, and it has sadly fallen into even further disrepair).

His grammer schooling took him deep into Russia, where Alan McClure taught him basic piano skills and how to look real pissed off while waving your arms around to get a group of kids shrieking on flute-o-phones to "keep time".

He soon picked up the trumpet when he discovered it was much, much louder than the flute-o-phone.

He then picked up the electric guitar when he discoved it was much, much louder than the trumpet.

At the pinnicle of his young carrer, he got kicked out of the high school Pep Band, after buying a Really Big Amplifier for his guitar and demonstrating the meaning of "turning it up to 11" in the middle of a basketball game.

Then followed a very dark period of his life. He calls those times "the very dark period of my life". It was at the end of that long, terrible afternoon of heavy drinking and Taco Bell gluttony that he vowed to someday return to that gymnasium with an army. NOT with an army of men, but with an army of a couple of guys pretending to be musicians. A diabolical plot, indeed.
And return he did!

Much to the dismay of the school administration, within a few short years, he was unleashing a cacophony of sounds at the high school homecoming that peeled the paint from the walls of the stage (or was that condensation??) and still echos through Claire C. Neaveu Gymnasium to this day.

He has gone on to astound and amaze the greater Tri-county area with his meandering musical ineptitude